{"id":7045,"date":"2019-06-13T12:00:03","date_gmt":"2019-06-13T12:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/copy-of-038-quit-dieting-and-make-peace-with-your-food-julie-duffy-dillon-rd\/"},"modified":"2021-03-03T23:24:43","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T15:24:43","slug":"039-how-to-talk-to-your-parents-about-their-finances-cameron-huddleston","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/?p=7045","title":{"rendered":"039: How to Talk to Your Parents About Their Finances &#8211; Cameron Huddleston"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/embed.radiopublic.com\/e?if=inspiration-rising-WY5X55&amp;ge=s1!f0f889d9deb327d146ee66e18fe85ec828cb6a29\" width=\"100%\" height=\"185\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-scripts allow-top-navigation allow-popups\"><\/iframe><\/p>\r\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Cameron Huddleston<\/strong> is an award-winning journalist with more than 17 years of experience writing about personal finance. Before joining GOBankingRates, she was a contributing editor for Kiplinger.com and wrote the popular Kip Tips column, which was syndicated in Tribune newspapers nationwide. Her work has appeared on Yahoo!, MSN, AOL Daily Finance and other online and print publications. U.S. News &amp; World Report named her one of the top personal finance experts to follow on Twitter, and AOL Daily Finance named her one of the top 20 personal finance influencers to follow on Twitter. She has appeared on \u201cFox &amp; Friends,\u201d MSNBC and CNN and has been a guest on ABC News Radio, Wall Street Journal Radio, NPR, WTOP in Washington, D.C., KGO in San Francisco and other personal finance radio shows nationwide. She has an MA in economic journalism from American University and BA in journalism and Russian studies from Washington &amp; Lee University. Before becoming a personal finance journalist, she worked at daily newspapers and for Dow Jones Newswires, covering convertible securities and junk bonds. Her new book is entitled \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2F6QzKr\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances<\/a>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p><b>In This Episode, You Will Learn:<\/b><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fears that adult children have about talking to parents about finances.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to work with siblings when broaching the subject.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Practical tips on how to start the conversation.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<p><strong>Create beautiful, engaging social media in 5 minutes a day &#8211;<\/strong>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.riseupcreatives.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">www.RiseUpCreatives.com<\/a><\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Connect with Cameron:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2F6QzKr\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances<\/a><\/span><\/li>\r\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/cameronhuddleston.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">CameronHuddleston.com<\/a><\/li>\r\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gobankingrates.com\/author\/cameronhuddleston\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GOBankingRates<\/a><\/li>\r\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CameronHuddlestonMoneyExpert\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Facebook<\/a><\/li>\r\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/clebedinsky\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Instagram<\/a><\/li>\r\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/CHLebedinsky\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Twitter<\/a><\/li>\r\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCK3HW2R5c8wMaTwSkhOldng\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">YouTube<\/a><\/li>\r\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/cameron-huddleston-187b633\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t Miss A Single Episode:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n<ul>\r\n<li><strong>Subscribe<\/strong>\u00a0on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/inspiration-rising\/id1448649388\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\">Apple Podcasts<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/play.google.com\/music\/m\/Iqrp5q3bagph2t23malprd3dxvy?t=Launch_Yourself_Today\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Google Podcasts<\/a>,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/42zIsXzjCibZt49xdCRvB4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Spotify<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/in-plain-sight\/launch-yourself-today\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Stitcher<\/a>.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Leave a quick review<\/strong>\u00a0on any of the podcast apps to tell people what you think about the show.<\/li>\r\n<li><strong>Take a screenshot of the podcast<\/strong> and post it on Instagram or Instagram Stories. Tag us <a href=\"http:\/\/www.instagram.com\/insporising\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">@insporising<\/a>. We\u2019ll repost and give you a shoutout!<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<p><!-- \/wp:post-content -->\r\n\r\n<!-- wp:spacer {\"height\":31} --><\/p>\r\n<div class=\"wp-block-spacer\" style=\"height: 31px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<p><!-- \/wp:spacer -->\r\n\r\n<!-- wp:separator --><\/p>\r\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\" \/>\r\n<p><!-- \/wp:separator -->\r\n\r\n<!-- wp:spacer {\"height\":35} --><\/p>\r\n<div class=\"wp-block-spacer\" style=\"height: 35px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<p><!-- \/wp:spacer -->\r\n\r\n<!-- wp:heading {\"level\":1,\"align\":\"center\"} --><\/p>\r\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">Interview Transcript<\/h1>\r\n<p><!-- \/wp:heading -->\r\n\r\n<!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Cameron, thanks so much for taking some time to hang with me today.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Thank you so much for having me. I\u2019m super excited.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>So, tell us why did you write this fabulous book?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Exactly, it\u2019s such a complicated topic, who in the world would touch it with a ten foot pole? I wrote this book because I didn\u2019t want people to make the same mistakes I did. I, like most people, didn\u2019t realize that I needed to be talking to my mom about her finances. But I was forced to have these conversations when it was almost too late. My mother, when she was in her early 60\u2019s, started showing signs of memory loss. I was in my early thirties. I still had little kids. And even though I was and still am a financial journalist, I never thought to start asking my mom questions about, \u201cMom, where do you stand financially?\u201d I had a general idea but when she started showing signs of memory loss, I realized I needed to have these conversations really fast, right away.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">One of the first things I did was say to her, \u201cMom, we need to go meet with an attorney. We need to get your estate planning documents updated.\u201d We did that and thank goodness we did, because if I hadn\u2019t done that soon enough, you have to be competent to sign those documents. If you\u2019re not, then no attorney is going to let you sign away power of attorney, health care power of attorney or sign a will. And as a child who had to help a parent manage her finances, if my mother had not named me power of attorney in health care or power of attorney while she was still competent, I would have had to go through very expensive, drawn out legal proceedings to get that power. That is not a situation that any family should have to go through.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">As I was managing my mom\u2019s finances and she was getting older, I was getting older. My friends started having these same issues with their parents. No one was having this issue when they were in their thirties like I was. I had no one to turn to for help and I had to figure it out on my own. Then my friends started coming to me and as I was getting more and more questions, I realized, \u201cYou know what? No one has to go through this alone like I did. I\u2019m going to help people. I\u2019m going to write a book and explain to them how to have these conversations.\u201d How to get over their fears and what to ask. Explain all the legal documents that people need and how to find out if their parents have them and walk them through that process. And help them figure out what to do if their parents don\u2019t want to have these conversations, because not every parent\u2019s going to want to talk about their finances with their kids.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>First of all, the book is amazing. It\u2019s an absolutely amazing book. As I\u2019m reading through it, I didn\u2019t read every word, but I read a ton of it and I\u2019m an only child and it brought up all kinds of nervousness and anxiety in me. I\u2019m reading it and thinking that I just want to give you a hug. You\u2019re going through this terrible time with your mom and then there\u2019s these challenges and you\u2019re giving us so much great information. It\u2019s really just an incredible resource. You bring up multiple fears that adult children face when thinking about having this kind of conversation with parents about finances and about their will and power of attorney and so forth. I want to hear your perspective. I\u2019m going to share a couple of these fears that you write about in the book that I have. The first one is, \u201cMy parents will think I\u2019m being nosey.\u201d What would you say to that?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">I hear this all the time and this is what surveys show: kids don\u2019t want to talk to their parents about finances because they think that mom and dad are going to say, \u201cIt\u2019s none of your business.\u201d Certainly, there will be some parents who will say that. I\u2019m not going to lie, because there are parents who think that their finances are no one\u2019s business, not even their kids. But the good news is, that most parents probably do not think this way. Most parents do realize that they need to be having these conversations with their kids and they just haven\u2019t gotten around to it because we\u2019re busy. We\u2019re all so busy. And even parents who have had to help their own parents, oftentimes don\u2019t even stop to say, \u201cOh, wait. I need to be having these conversations with my kids.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">A lot of parents really are just waiting for their kids to ask and they\u2019re not going to think that you\u2019re being nosey. They\u2019re probably going to be grateful that you brought it up and they\u2019re going to say, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019ve been meaning to talk to you about this. I\u2019m so glad you brought it up.\u201d And for those parents who do say, \u201cIt\u2019s none of your business,\u201d my book certainly has some tips on walking people through that, but I will say briefly here that, if you get that sort of response from your parents, you can very politely and gently say, \u201cMom and Dad, it is my business because some day you might need my help and I want to be able to give you that help. But if we don\u2019t have these conversations, I won\u2019t be able to help you. Certain things need to be in place.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>I got to the end of the book and you reversed roles on me. You flipped the script on me because at the end of the book you say, \u201cHey, you should be having these conversations with your own kids now.\u201d Like, \u201cOh, man. She got me. She got me good.\u201d I wouldn\u2019t think that my kids were being nosey, I would think that they were being helpful. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Alright, another fear; I don\u2019t have this fear because I\u2019m an only child. So, I know I\u2019m getting all of their debt &#8211; I mean, all of their assets: \u201cMy parents will think I\u2019m being greedy.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">This is a big one and this can be a reason why parents don\u2019t want to have this conversation sometimes. Sometimes they don\u2019t want to have to talk about what their kids are getting or what they\u2019re leaving behind. As an only child, you don\u2019t have to worry about it. You\u2019re getting everything. But when there are a couple of kids, sometimes parents might not want to divide it evenly and they don\u2019t want to have those conversations because they don\u2019t want to tell their kids. Or, if they are leaving their kids a lot, they don\u2019t want their kids to feel entitled. So, this can be a reason why parents are reluctant. Kids might be correct in assuming that their parents might think they\u2019re being greedy, but if you approach it very gently and don\u2019t come at them by saying, \u201cMom and Dad, I want to know what I\u2019m getting.\u201d That\u2019s the last thing you want to say.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You want to frame it as, \u201cMom and Dad, I want to be able to help you out. I want to know what your wishes are.\u201d There was a young woman I interviewed for my book and they had lost a family friend and that prompted her to have this conversation with her parents. \u201cMom and Dad, you have this business and I want to know what your plan is for it going forward if something were to happen to you.\u201d And the parent\u2019s kind of jokingly said, \u201cOh, are you trying to get rid of us?\u201d She handled it so well because she said, \u201cNo, of course not. I just want to make sure that we know what your wishes are.\u201d And the parents said, \u201cWell, why don\u2019t we let the attorney\u2019s handle this.\u201d But then a few months later, they came back and said to her, \u201cHey, we met with the attorney. We updated everything. We\u2019ve named you our power of attorney. This is who has to do what and how we\u2019ve divided things up.\u201d And so, it turned out really well. She was a little bit nervous, but she knew that if she didn\u2019t bring this up, her siblings wouldn\u2019t. And like I said, her parent\u2019s kind of joked but it worked out for the best.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Okay, so I think this next one is more of a concern that I would have. There\u2019s a fear that my parents will be offended and our relationship will be impacted negatively in some way. What would you say to that?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">I hear this all the time because people say, \u201cI\u2019m so afraid of having this conversation with my parents. It\u2019s so awkward.\u201d And here\u2019s what I would say to that; I want everyone to think back to when you were in high school and think back to all the things you did back then that you knew were going to tick your parents off because they told you not to do it. But did it stop us? No. No, we knew if we stayed out too late or dated the wrong person, our parents were going to get mad. Right? But did it stop us then? No, we knew we were going to get grounded. We\u2019re adults now, okay? If our parents get mad at us, they\u2019re not going to ground us anymore.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">What are we so afraid of, really? We\u2019re not going to get in trouble the way we did when we were a kid and it didn\u2019t stop us then. We probably have a much better relationship with our parents now. Most of us, not everyone. If you have a strong, loving relationship, your parents might feel a little bit of awkwardness when you bring the topic up, but they\u2019re not going to stop loving you. They\u2019re not going to hate you. They\u2019re probably not going to blow up and they\u2019re certainly not going to say, \u201cYour grounded, go to your room.\u201d That\u2019s just not going to happen. So, as long as you approach this as a loving child who is talking to your parents out of concern for their wellbeing, they should not get mad at you.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>You also bring up in the book, a number of fears that parents may have through this whole process. Can you walk us through some of those?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Yes, and probably the biggest is something that really applies to our generation. We\u2019re Gen Xer\u2019s. our parents are in their 70\u2019s already and they were probably taught, \u201cYou don\u2019t talk about money.\u201d And they taught us the same thing. I grew up in a proper Southern home and my father used to always say, \u201cDon\u2019t talk about money. It\u2019s impolite.\u201d And you might have heard the same thing too. A lot of people in our generation heard this. So, that\u2019s the big fear that our parents have. They don\u2019t want to talk about money because they\u2019ve always been told it\u2019s taboo and they told us it was taboo.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">If you\u2019re going to talk to your parents about their finances and you know that they think money is a taboo topic, you don\u2019t want to make the conversation initially about money. You don\u2019t want to come to them and say, \u201cHey, Mom. I want to talk to you about your finances.\u201d Don\u2019t even use that word. Instead say, \u201cHey, Mom and Dad,\u201d and then ask about a big picture topic. If they\u2019re still younger and they haven\u2019t retired yet, trying asking them, \u201cI\u2019d love to get an idea of what you think your retirement is going to look like. What does that look like for you?\u201d Or maybe, if they\u2019re already in retirement, in general ask, \u201cMom and Dad, how\u2019s retirement going for you? Are you loving it? Is it as good as you thought it was going to be?\u201d And they might say, \u201cNo, it\u2019s been really difficult.\u201d Or they might kind of avoid the topic a little bit. And it\u2019s a touchy subject, but you can trying talking about some of those end of life things. Come at it like, \u201cMom and Dad, I want to know what your wishes are. If you ever need any sort of care, I want to be able to provide that sort of care that you want.\u201d Not, \u201cMom and Dad, let\u2019s talk about your finances.\u201d So, don\u2019t make the conversation about money. Talk about bigger picture issues and then if they\u2019re willing to talk about that, kind of slip the financial side of things into your questions.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Alright, so parents could feel like it\u2019s a taboo subject. I loved how you likened this subject to sex. Our parents oftentimes didn\u2019t even want to talk about sex or maybe they gave you a book. But now, \u201cLet\u2019s not even talk about money.\u201d It seems like we\u2019re living in a culture now though, thirty years later, where it\u2019s a bit more open and we\u2019re talking. How about yourself? How do you talk to your kids about money these days? How have you brought that up in the context of your home?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">We\u2019re very open. And it\u2019s okay, I don\u2019t mind talking about the sex aspect, it\u2019s actually really funny. The website that I write for, GOBankingRates, I had them do a survey on talking to parents about money. The crazy thing is, they found that about ten percent of adults would rather talk to their parents about their parent\u2019s romantic life, than talk to them about their finances.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>That is not the case with me. There\u2019s no way.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">I know, who wants to talk to their parents about their sex life more than they would want to talk to them about money? I mean, that\u2019s crazy to me. That blows my mind that they think money is so taboo, that they\u2019d rather talk about their parent\u2019s romantic life. The thing is, our parents might have given us that book so they wouldn\u2019t have to have that conversation. Years later, we\u2019re married, we have kids now, we figured it out even if our parents didn\u2019t tell us. But here\u2019s what I want to point out: if you don\u2019t have this conversation with your parents, you\u2019re not going to figure out their financial situation in the same way we figured out how to have kids of our own. It just doesn\u2019t work that way.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Yeah, you\u2019ll never figure it out. It\u2019ll be too late. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">No, you\u2019ll never figure it out. And certainly, you can let your parents know that you realize that this is an uncomfortable topic for them. \u201cI realize this is uncomfortable for you to talk about, but it\u2019s going to be so much more uncomfortable and so much more difficult if we don\u2019t have these conversations and an emergency arises. At that point, we\u2019d be too stressed out. We\u2019d be too emotional.\u201d The last thing you want to talk about at that time is your finances.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Let\u2019s talk about a worst case scenario because I know you alluded to it earlier in our conversation. Worst case scenario; let\u2019s just say that parents are divorced so they have separate accounts. I don\u2019t even know what the legalities are and I don\u2019t even know if they\u2019re different in every state but you were opening my mind up to all kinds of questions. So, let\u2019s just say they become incapacitated in some way and they\u2019re not of sound mind. Whether it\u2019s a car accident or they have a stroke or they have dementia or whatever it might be. These are things I hadn\u2019t even thought of, but they\u2019re not able to pay their bills. So, now their bills are racking up or a check didn\u2019t get deposited. Can\u2019t I just call the cellphone company and say, \u201cHi, my name is David. I\u2019d like to pay my parents bill\u201d?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">No, they\u2019re not even going to talk to you. I have a great example in my book of a friend of mine, his name is Doug. He\u2019s a super financially savvy guy and he lived states away from his father. His father was a widower and when he started realizing that his dad was having trouble with his memory, he gently tried to broach the topic, but his dad pushed back. And rather than continue the conversation, he dropped it. His dad\u2019s dementia got worse and Doug gets a call in the middle of the night from the hospital, that his dad is there and he has to get emergency surgery. His dad ends up in a nursing home to recover and Doug has no way to pay his father\u2019s bills because his father never named Doug his power of attorney.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Doug reaches out to the bank and the bank says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, we don\u2019t even want to talk to you because you\u2019re not your father\u2019s power of attorney.\u201d Doug has to go to court to get what is called a \u2018Conservatorship\u2019 for his father. He has to get a neuropsychiatrist to evaluate his dad and spend thousands of dollars on that evaluation. And then he has to get the doctor to testify in court. He basically had to put his father on trial to prove that he is no longer competent. Could you imagine having to do that? Can you imagine having to put your parent on trial to prove that they are incompetent and that they can\u2019t manage their finances anymore?<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">He had to spend money on court fees, hiring an attorney for himself and his dad and pay for the doctor. All the while, he\u2019s having to pay his father\u2019s bills out of his own pocket because he can\u2019t access his father\u2019s accounts. He had to go through background checks and interviews to get named conservator. When he finally got approved, it took nine months. He spent ten thousand dollars and a total of twenty-five thousand dollars paying those bills, before he could finally get access to his dad\u2019s accounts and get reimbursed for the money that he spent. And then also, every year after that, he had to file a report with the court saying how he spent his dad\u2019s money.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Because he hadn\u2019t gotten the initial power of attorney?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Yes, exactly. So, for example, I am my mom\u2019s power of attorney, I don\u2019t have to file a report with the court system every year. I just have to reach out to all her financial institutions, let them know I\u2019m her power of attorney and send in that document. Sometimes I have to fill out their own documents but it\u2019s so much easier. I know people might say, \u201cOh, well it\u2019s expensive. I have to pay for those documents. I have to pay to get the power of attorney, the healthcare power of attorney.\u201d Yes, you\u2019re going to spend a few hundred dollars, maybe a thousand dollars or a little bit more depending on the complexity of your estate plan. But that\u2019s not ten thousand dollars. That\u2019s not twenty-five thousand dollars. It\u2019s a whole lot cheaper. It\u2019s a whole lot easier to get those documents in place because once something happens, if you have a stroke, you have dementia, you\u2019re in that car accident and you can\u2019t make decisions on your own, it\u2019s too late.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>What happens to a family that perhaps doesn\u2019t have the financial means to spend ten thousand dollars and pay the bills out of pocket? What happens in that kind of situation?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">They go into debt.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>The person who is incapacitated? Or, the kids?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">The kids. The person who\u2019s incapacitated, they can\u2019t pay those bills. They\u2019re no longer able to and if the kids don\u2019t have the power of attorney, the kids are going to have to go into debt. They\u2019re going to have to rack up the credit card bills. They\u2019re going to have to raid their retirement savings to pay those bills until they finally have access to their parent\u2019s accounts to reimburse themselves. The thing is too, maybe the parents don\u2019t even have the financial well-being in the first place to cover those bills.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">If you had had these conversations sooner, you might have been able to realize that your parents were struggling. At that point you could have created a plan for how you\u2019re going to deal with these situations. \u201cOkay, Mom and Dad, I know that you couldn\u2019t afford this sort of thing, let me take steps to maybe build up my savings now. Let me talk to my siblings, so we can all have a plan together, so that no one is going to suffer financially. Or at least we can limit that financial suffering.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>You just mentioned siblings. I\u2019m an only child, that means I don\u2019t have to worry about the siblings, but that also means I carry all the weight. If somebody has multiple siblings, how do they initiate that conversation with their siblings? What would you suggest? This is all in the book, by the way. It\u2019s outlined in great detail and I know I mentioned this in the intro, but just as a reminder to you guys, it\u2019s called <i>Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances<\/i>. It comes out June 25, 2019, no matter when you\u2019re listening to this. Even though you sent me a digital copy, I ordered a hardcopy just to support you and because I want to hold it in my hands. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>So, back to siblings. How should we approach talking with siblings?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">It is so important if you have brothers or sisters, to talk to them really before you even talk to your parents. You guys all want to get on the same page. You want to figure out who\u2019s going to imitate the conversation with mom and dad. Maybe it\u2019s all of you. Maybe it\u2019s one of you. You\u2019re going to figure out in advance, what roles you want to play going forward. Maybe you say, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re all going to sit down and talk to Mom and Dad, but you, Jane, are going to be the person who is going to head everything up. You\u2019re going to let Mom and Dad know that you\u2019re willing to be the power of attorney and the healthcare power of attorney. That you\u2019re willing to be the one to help them with their finances. I, because I live closer to Mom and Dad, I\u2019m going to be the one who maybe is going to help them get to doctor\u2019s appointments. I\u2019m going to be the one that helps them if they need care.\u201d If you can divide up the roles, no one has to take on all the responsibility. There will be less resentment. Sometimes that\u2019s not possible. My sister lives states away from me, so she can\u2019t help with the caregiving from my mother.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>How convenient that she moved away.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">She\u2019s so lucky, isn\u2019t she? She\u2019s off the hook. But the thing is, we talk about these things and that\u2019s so important for me. Because I am managing my mom\u2019s finances, I let my sister in on what I\u2019m doing, so that there isn\u2019t any suspicion about how I\u2019m handling my mom\u2019s money. So, that there\u2019s not any resentment on her part and there\u2019s not any resentment on my part. Maybe she can\u2019t physically help my mother and maybe she\u2019s not the one who\u2019s having to handle all her finances, but I can go to her and talk to her and let some steam off, \u201cOh, my gosh. This has been so difficult. Do you have any suggestions?\u201d And she\u2019s there for me. So, talk to your siblings, because sometimes you\u2019ll find out, if you don\u2019t have these conversations before an emergency happens and suddenly you all have a difference of opinion on how to handle things, then fights break out.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">There was someone I interviewed for the book, there were three of them and their father wasn\u2019t in good health, but they didn\u2019t think to talk to their mom beforehand about what she was going to do after their father died and where she was going to live. Once dad died, suddenly there was this panic, \u201cWhat are we going to do with Mom? Where is she going to live?\u201d And they were fighting. One of them said, \u201cMom should be in a retirement community where she didn\u2019t have the responsibility of caring for a home or a yard. The other one wanted mom to stay in their childhood home. The other one wanted mom to be closer to him. It didn\u2019t end well. Mom moved into a house that wasn\u2019t right for her and now she\u2019s going back to the daughter and saying, \u201cI should have listened to you. I should have moved into the retirement community.\u201d The kids all along were having fights and a lot of this could have been avoided if the kids, as soon as they saw that dad\u2019s health was declining, started talking about, \u201cWhat can we do that will be best for Mom?\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Your mom is still alive, is that correct?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">She\u2019s still alive. She\u2019s in assisted living.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>I know that has been a very challenging experience for you. You start out the book by saying that you wrote it in large part to help people avoid having the experience that you have had. I just think it\u2019s a beautiful gift that you have given the world. I mean, that\u2019s a very challenging situation with your mom. Nobody would want that for anyone. And yet, at the same time, what a beautiful gift that has emerged for the rest of the world out of that whole experience. I just appreciate your willingness to give birth to that gift for other people. It\u2019s a super beautiful gift.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Thank you.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>You mentioned earlier that we should not say, \u201cHow much are we getting?\u201d Okay, that\u2019s step number one; don\u2019t ask that. Step number two, what other things should we avoid saying?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">David, I know that throughout your career and your coaching, you\u2019ve focused a lot on relationships, right? Couples. You probably know that when you are talking to your partner or spouse and you\u2019re upset about something, you don\u2019t want to come to them and say \u201cYou.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cYou made me mad.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cYou did this wrong.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cYou should be doing this.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You want to use \u201cI\u201d language, and you want to use \u201cI\u201d language when you\u2019re talking to your parents as well. \u201cI am concerned. It would give me peace of mind if we can have this conversation.\u201d Not, \u201cYou should tell me.\u201d You say, \u201cI\u201d.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You want to be careful though, because again, you don\u2019t want to look like you\u2019re only thinking about yourself;<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI am concerned about your wellbeing, Mom and Dad.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI\u2019m concerned about how things will be for you when you\u2019re in retirement.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI\u2019m concerned about what should happened if there is an emergency and I or my siblings have to care for you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">So, \u201cI want to have peace of mind and I want you to have peace of mind and that\u2019s why I think we need to have these conversations and plan.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Alright, so \u201cI\u201d statements are huge. It seems like even writing some of this down ahead of time, the thought process. I know for me, that would be helpful. You talk about this in the book and it\u2019s an incredible idea. You want us to think about the outcome that we want to have from the conversation and being clear about that.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Yes, and it\u2019s important to think about this when you talk to your siblings as well. Because you\u2019re going into that conversation and you guys all are on different pages about mom and dad and the type of care you think they should get or where they should live. Certainly, when you go into that conversation, think about, \u201cWhy are we having this conversation?\u201d The answer is, \u201cBecause we care about Mom and Dad.\u201d So, think about what you hope to get out of the conversation.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">They might want something different from you, but then you bring it all back to, \u201cOkay, you want this. I want this. But we need to think about Mom and Dad.\u201d And so, writing down what you hope to get out of the conversation with your siblings and what you hope to get out of the conversation with your parents, helps you get clear. And it can also help you remember what the point of this conversation is. Like I said, you don\u2019t want to go in and say, \u201cYou should do this.\u201d You certainly don\u2019t want to be condescending with your parents and if they\u2019re already older and you see that they\u2019re having some issues, maybe mom and dad have gotten those scam calls and you\u2019re concerned but also a little upset because you\u2019re like, \u201cOh, my gosh. Come on. Don\u2019t they have a clue that these people are just trying to take their money?\u201d So, you don\u2019t want to take a situation like that and come in and say, \u201cMom and Dad, come on! Don\u2019t you realize these people are just trying to scam you?\u201d That\u2019s the last thing you want to say. You want to think about in the same way you\u2019d think about it if your kids came to you and had this conversation. How would you want them to talk to you?<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>That\u2019s a great way to say it.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Maybe mom and dad aren\u2019t doing so well anymore, maybe they\u2019re not making good financial decisions. But you don\u2019t want to point that out. You don\u2019t want to be condescending. You don\u2019t want to talk down to them. You don\u2019t even want to talk to them in the way that you might talk to a small child, \u201cOh, Mom and Dad. I know things are kind of getting a little more difficult for you now.\u201d No, don\u2019t talk to them that way at all. Talk to them the way you want your kids to talk to you. Show them respect. They are still your parents. Do not get frustrated. Take a deep breath. It\u2019s like talking to a teenager sometimes. You have teenagers. It can be very difficult. It can be very frustrating, but as soon as you let your temper get the best of you, you know those conversations are going to go downhill.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>They\u2019re over. They are over.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">They\u2019re over, exactly. Take the same approach with your parents. Because you know what? They might still be thinking of you as that unruly teen who didn\u2019t listen to them. You could be a successful forty-something, but in their eyes, you\u2019re still that 16 year old who stayed out past curfew.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Or wasted money.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Or wasted money and they\u2019re like, \u201cWho are you to tell me about how to spend my money?\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI know I made some mistakes Mom and Dad, but I\u2019ve learned from those mistakes and I want to help make sure what I\u2019ve learned, I can share that with you. I certainly don\u2019t know more than you, Mom and Dad. But I have learned some things over the years and I want to share these things that I\u2019ve learned.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>You\u2019ve given us some tips along the way but I want to ask real specifically on some ways to start the conversation. You talked about, \u201cWhat are your plans for retirement?\u201d \u201cHow is retirement going?\u201d What are some other kind of nuanced ways to get into this conversation?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">One of the best ways to start these conversations is to use a story. So, you\u2019re listening to this podcast now and you go to Mom and Dad and you say, \u201cHey, Mom and Dad. I was listening to this podcast and there was a woman talking about how her mother developed Alzheimer\u2019s and she had not talked to her before her mom started losing her memory. And then as she saw that her mom was having trouble remembering things and she really had to scramble because she didn\u2019t know anything about her mom\u2019s finances. She didn\u2019t know what sort of accounts she had. She didn\u2019t know whether she had all the legal documents in place. And because she had waited to have these conversations, it was really difficult for her. She really had to put together the pieces of her mom\u2019s finances like it was a puzzle and she didn\u2019t know what that final picture was supposed to look like. I want to make sure that we never end up in a situation like that, Mom and Dad.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Everyone has a story. You\u2019ve got someone at work maybe, who had to stop working to care for a parent. You\u2019ve got a friend whose father died and was in a second marriage and didn\u2019t have a will and now the kids are fighting over who gets what. And even if you don\u2019t have your own story, you can borrow one. Or, and this might sound a little bit sleazy, but I really promise you it\u2019s not; you can make up a story. You can make up a story to fit the sort of information that you want to get from your parents. Don\u2019t think of it as lying, think of it as starting a very important conversation that you need to have.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Oh, man. Starting this conversation, I\u2019m just thinking about it already. Okay, so we\u2019ve gotten into all the ways to start the conversation and what not to say. We haven\u2019t even talked about what you need to know. The beauty is, that\u2019s probably two thirds of the book. At least half of the book are all of the things that you would need to know from your parents and you break it down so beautifully. You give an outline of all those things and then you go step by step in each chapter, of all the things that you need to know and what you need to do. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Give people a taste of what\u2019s in the book, because I\u2019m telling you, if you\u2019re listening to this podcast, you cannot just take what you\u2019ve heard here and run with it. You\u2019ve got to get this book because it has so much information in it in terms of what you need to talk to your parents about. You<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>mentioned power of attorney. For somebody who doesn\u2019t even know what that is, what does that mean?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Power of attorney is a document and it\u2019s best to meet with an attorney to have this document drafted. There are documents that you can get online. You can download from a website such as <span class=\"s1\">www.nolo.com<\/span>. It\u2019s a cheaper option, but really, I do think it\u2019s worth the money to meet with someone who does this day in and day out to make sure you\u2019ve covered everything.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>How do I find them? Do I just Google \u201cPower of Attorney\u201d and the name of my city?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You want to find an estate planning attorney. So, that\u2019s what you\u2019re going to Google, \u201cEstate Planning Attorney\u201d. Ask friends, \u201cHey, have you had a will done? Have you had a power of attorney drawn up?\u201d And maybe you\u2019ve done it yourself and you can suggest that your parents meet with the attorney you meet with. Power of attorney is a document that lets you name someone to make financial decisions for you if you no longer can. You want to reassure your parents that just because they name you or a sibling or maybe it\u2019s a close family friend, that doesn\u2019t mean that they can step in and start controlling your finances right away.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You can tell your parents, \u201cMom and Dad, you hang onto this document. You tell me where to find it if something happens and I need to step in and start managing your finances for you. You don\u2019t have to give it to me right now.\u201d Because the thing is, if you are named your parents power of attorney, unless you have that document, it\u2019s not going to do you any good. You can\u2019t just call up the bank and say, \u201cI\u2019m my Mom and Dad\u2019s power of attorney.\u201d They\u2019re going to want to see the document. So, your parents don\u2019t even have to give it to you. They just have to tell you where it is. If they\u2019re worried if you\u2019re going to get into their bank account and start stealing money from them, which hopefully you are a very responsible, honest child, who wants to help your parents and you\u2019re going to not do that. But if your parents are a little bit concerned, tell them, \u201cMom and Dad, take this document. Have it drafted. Put it someplace safe and tell me where to access.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">There\u2019s also the healthcare power of attorney. Often these documents are called an Advanced Directive or a living will. Not only do they let you name someone to make healthcare decisions for you if you can\u2019t, they spell out your final wishes; what sort of life-support you do or do not want. This is so important because if it\u2019s not in writing, then if something happens, if you\u2019re in a coma, the last thing you want is for your loved ones to have to make this decision for you. It\u2019s a terrible position to put anyone in. You want to make sure your parents have this document; the Advanced Directive or the living will, as it\u2019s called. Make sure they also have a will.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>I\u2019ve stated in my will that I want to live in a vegetative state as long as possible, drawing upon the emotional wellbeing of my kids and just having them feeling guilty and horrible for the rest of their lives. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">And spending all your money and all their money to keep you on life-support. Exactly. We all want that. We all want that.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Okay, so power of attorney, medical power of attorney &#8211; is that what you said?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Healthcare power of attorney. It\u2019s usually called an Advanced Directive or a living will, and a will. If you\u2019re going to find out anything from your parents, you want to find out if they have these three estate planning documents because they are so, so important. And as I already explained, you have to be competent when you sign these documents. So, if you can find this out, this is the key information that you need.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">But you also want to get a general sense of how they\u2019re doing financially. And start with that. \u201cHow are things going in retirement?\u201d Or, \u201cWhat does your retirement look like for you?\u201d This will give you a good idea of where they stand financially. If you can just ask these sorts of question, they might say, \u201cWell, you know, we saved really well for retirement and it\u2019s paying off for us because we\u2019re not having any issues paying our bills.\u201d Or, \u201cIt\u2019s been really tough because we\u2019re just relying on Social Security and we\u2019re not sure if we\u2019re going to be able to afford the house.\u201d And then that\u2019s a red flag for you. \u201cWe need to start talking more about what we can do going forward. Maybe you need to move into a smaller house. Maybe we need to talk about whether you need to move in with us.\u201d You want to find out how they pay their bills in case an emergency rises. Are the bills on auto-pay?<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>All the account information. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Yes, but also just in general. \u201cAre you paying your bills by a check or are they getting paid automatically? Because Mom and Dad, if something happens to you, I need to know whether your electricity is going to stay on in your house. I need to know whether the mortgage is going to get paid. Or, I need to know whether I have to write a check and whether you\u2019re giving me power of attorney to write those checks for you.\u201d And then, dig into the details of their finances. Like you said, the accounts. \u201cWhat accounts do you have? What sort of debt do you have? What sort of insurance do you have?\u201d This is where they might resist a little bit more because this is really sensitive and personal information. You don\u2019t have to say, \u201cGive it to me.\u201d Instead say, \u201cMake a list. Write it down and put it someplace safe so that I can access it if I need it.\u201d I will tell you this, I do know parents who give their kids this information. They give them an updated spreadsheet every six months. There are parents out there who do it. Most parents don\u2019t, but if you can at least get them to write it down, put it someplace safe and tell you where it is, then you are in such a great position in case they do need your help.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>And you have a comprehensive list in the back of the book that I just love. It\u2019s a list of all these things that you should really be thinking of. So, it\u2019s not like you have to sit down and think of, \u201cWhat should I be knowing?\u201d When you get the book, you get the list. It\u2019s a great resource. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Okay, last question, I\u2019m going to put you on the spot here. I mentioned this in the intro, you and I knew each other for two years in high school. That\u2019s it. Freshman and sophomore year because I moved away from Kentucky to California. I don\u2019t even think we went to middle school together, but I\u2019m going to say you were the nicest person in all of high school. Which I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve heard probably your entire life. Have you heard that your entire life, \u201cYou\u2019re the nicest person ever\u201d?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve heard that I\u2019m the nicest person ever. I really appreciate the complement. I mean, people have said that I\u2019m nice. I don\u2019t know if they\u2019ve said, \u201cNicest person ever,\u201d though.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Oh, yeah, the nicest person ever. Okay, so I\u2019m going to put you on the spot. What do you remember from two years of high school with me? What do you remember about me? It could be anything. It could be one word.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You were a skateboarder.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Yeah, that\u2019s true.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You were a photographer, right?<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>That\u2019s true. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">You were already shooting pictures then. I feel like we went to junior high together too.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Maybe we did. Bowling Green Junior High School, you went there?<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Yes.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Okay, so we were there together.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Yes, but you know, here\u2019s the funny thing though; I felt like you were there with me longer in high school. I felt like it was more than just two years.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Only two.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">I do. Because I feel like I knew you well enough that it had to be longer than that.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>I think one of my biggest disappointments in high school was the three times you turned me down to go to prom. That was painful.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">No, that\u2019s not true. Because if you left at the end of your sophomore year, we couldn\u2019t have even gone to prom. You\u2019re making that up.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>I know, believe me, I was not out on the dance floor. I was on the side with a camera, thank God. I\u2019m not a big dancer.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Cameron, incredible book. I really am deeply impressed by this. Everybody needs to get it. I know these questions are not new. People have been dealing with this for tons of years, but they\u2019re new to me because of my age and where my parents are. And so, I appreciate your investment of putting this together. Really great job.<\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Thank you. I really want people to realize how important these conversations are because most people don\u2019t. We don\u2019t think about it. We\u2019re so worried about even staying on top of our own finances, the last thing we\u2019re thinking about is our parents\u2019 finances. I know these conversations can be difficult but if you don\u2019t have them, the consequences of not having them are so much worse. They really are. I encourage everyone to get past their fears. Of course, buy my book. It\u2019ll help you do that hopefully. And start having these conversations.<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Absolutely. Alright, the name of the book, <i>Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk<\/i>: <i>How to Have Essential Conversations with Your Parents About Their Finances<\/i>. That is a great title by the way. It\u2019s available June 25<sup>th<\/sup> on Amazon. Don\u2019t wait to buy it on June 25<sup>th<\/sup>, buy it now because it helps the book in terms of its rankings. You should definitely get it right away. Thanks so much, Cameron. <\/b><\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Thank you, David.<\/p>\r\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\r\n\r\n<!-- wp:separator {\"className\":\"is-style-wide\"} --><\/p>\r\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\" \/>\r\n<p><!-- \/wp:separator -->\r\n\r\n<!-- wp:paragraph --> <strong>Subscribe to Inspiration Rising<\/strong> on <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/inspiration-rising\/id1448649388\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Apple Podcasts<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/play.google.com\/music\/m\/Iqrp5q3bagph2t23malprd3dxvy?t=Launch_Yourself_Today\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Google Podcasts,<\/a>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/42zIsXzjCibZt49xdCRvB4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Spotify<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/in-plain-sight\/launch-yourself-today\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Stitcher.<\/a><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cameron Huddleston is an award-winning journalist with more than 17 years of experience writing about personal finance. Before joining GOBankingRates, she was a contributing editor for Kiplinger.com and wrote the popular Kip Tips column, which was syndicated in Tribune newspapers nationwide. Her work has appeared on Yahoo!, MSN, AOL Daily Finance and other online and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7047,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7045"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7045\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7047"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insporising.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}